The time here has been very special. I feel very melancholic to leave but also immense LOVE, deep, deep LOVE - not specific because I want to stay here - more my heart is yearning deeply to be opened even more. Bali has always been the place that helped me enter my heart more deeply and this time I felt I opened up so much, I can’t ever go back to being so closed - which is unbelievably beautiful but also soooo scary. I feel naked. And I’ve had an emotional day on Tuesday and just decided to shave my head again - like truly feeling and looking naked.
In my first week here I dived very deep inside of my heart during the Yin Yoga Teacher Training with Nik Robson - he’s a yin magician, dragon rider and just an amazing teacher and space holder. There will be another training this autumn...if you want your life to be transformed and you finally feeling your heart again - go for it. Best is to follow his Instagram for now.
The magic of an open heart... I exposed mySelf in ways, I’ve never done before. I cried - a lot. And I realized that I’ve been feeling depressed for a while now because I couldn’t feel my heart anymore. I couldn’t feel the love - even though I knew mentally that I’m loved. But I couldn’t allow the love to flow through me, the armors that I’ve built around my heart due to painful experiences in the past, were so big, heavy and just not allowing me anymore to feel anything in my heart space. I’ve been writing very openly about my very dark time in Zurich, family healing and the heart-opening journey in Bali.
I’ve been writing a lot - so much is coming through me and my openness these days... just check my Instagram if you want some heart-empowerment. I’ve been also thinking of how often we use BUT and TRY to find excuses why something doesn’t work or why we can’t do it.
The exploration of our inner landscapes asks for a lot of courage to be Self-honest. It takes time. But that’s okay. But stuff is actually pretty easy in life - it just takes commitment, tapas, the inner fire, and discipline. So sometimes going for the heart means taking action. But other times it means to surrender - to drop the yang attitude and constantly doing something - but just embracing what is and trusting into the Divine Timing and accepting that you can’t control everything.
Life isn’t black or white - it’s time to allow life and love to be all the shades, all the colors, all the forms and no forms.
What would doing something from the depth of your heart mean today? What would you do? Or what would you surrender to?
There is no trying when it comes to the heart... Just surrendering to the flow of it - trusting that the journey is only unknown for your mind but that the heart knows, always knew and will know the way.
It’s a journey - love is a journey - it’s not a specific destination.
Your heart is the most powerful tool you have.